Oral Sex, African Diasporas And Issues Arising – By Paul Omoruyi

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Most sexually active people in the United States engage in oral sex. Matter-of-factly, to many, oral sex is more pleasurable than genital penetration. In America, different slangs have been coined for oral sex – Blow Job, Go-Down-South, Go-Down, Get-A-Head, 69-Position and the list goes on. For those who care about medical terminology, Cunnilingus refers to oral sex performed on females while fellatio refers to oral sex performed on males.

For the most part, majority of Africans (especially African men) shun oral sex either for religious, cultural or traditional reasons. The few that engage in it will deny it vehemently in public because they see it as a disdainful “girly-man” sexual activity. A real man should be able to give a woman the same pleasure using his sex organ, they will argue. In Nigeria for example, there are different denigrating words for describing men that perform oral sex on women.

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Some years ago, a young American lady once confided that she broke up with her “African Boyfriend” because he refused to perform oral sex on her even though he wants her to perform oral sex on him.  “It is not right. It is very selfish of him. When I asked him why, he said he’s a prince and it is forbidden for a Nigerian prince to do such things”, she complained.

However, many African men who are married to Westerners would tell you they have no choice performing oral sex on their partners. Some African women on the other hand who will like to have oral sex with their partner shy away from saying it because they do not want to be labeled as being “spoilt” or sexually perverted which might lead to the ruin of their relationship.

Maybe not the younger Africans; but the middle-aged and older Africans (male and female alike) in the Western World have given reasons (real or fabricated) for refusing to engage in oral sex. Many will tell you it is bad (without any scientific proof) but based on what they heard from their parents or other adults in Africa.

In recent weeks, the claim by Michael Douglas’ (America famous actor) that oral sex might be the cause of his throat cancer has shed light on the “safety” of oral sex. In a candid interview with the Guardian newspaper, the actor said that he didn’t regret his years of smoking and drinking, which were thought to be the cause of his cancer when he was diagnosed three years ago. “No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [Human Papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus,” he said.

Although it is known in some circles for years now that HPV contracted from oral sex along with smoking, could indeed bring on some types of oral cancers but not many people are informed about it, especially young people. It is believed that HPV infections usually don’t cause any signs or symptoms in either sex, but some types can cause genital warts. High-risk types of HPV can cause persistent infection, which can gradually turn into cancer, and usually only cervical cancer.

According to the US Centers for Disease Control, about 79 million Americans are currently infected with the disease and  HPV is so common that nearly all sexually-active men and women will get at least one type of HPV at some point in their lives.

One is tempted to think that Micheal Douglas’ public outcry on oral sex as probable cause of his cancer and the recent studies on Cunnilingus diseases vindicate the wisdom behind majority of Africans shunning oral sex. Could it be that the great ancestors of Africa knew about these diseases thousands of years ago and as such abstained from such acts?

For many African men in the Diaspora, it is a recurring relationship challenge especially for those that are married or in a relationship with none-Africans. Studies show that it is easier for an African-African partner to understandably deal with it if one partner is interested in oral sex and the other does not than for an African and a none-African relationship.

Like the American lady insinuated, many people have come to argue that reciprocity exists in sex, specifically oral sex, because if one wants to receive it, they also have to give it. So they perform oral sex simply as a condition for receiving it.

The question is: As an African, will you perform oral sex on your partner if he or she request or indicate interest in it with or without the latest revelation about oral sex? Leave comments about your opinion on this issue. May God bless Africans and all those in the Diaspora!

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Comments

  1. Ikenna Okonkwo says:

    Ahmed, you spoke very well. Oral sex is very, very, very SYNONYMOUS with HYGIENE. In fact it is one of the things that discourages people from doing it. The vagina has a natural odour as an open zone sometimes people call it FISHY smell, but when it is too much, you suspect an infection. Also there are two types of female hygiene, the internal hygiene i.e the inside of the vagina and the external hygiene i.e the outside of the vagina. While it may be difficult to control what is happening inside as vagina and eye still remains the only organs of the body that CLEANS ITSELF AUTOMATICALLY, you have control of what is happening outside and how does the outside odour builds up? It comes from stains of urine on the pubic hairs and surface of the vagina no matter how you clean your vagina after urination without water, it also comes from the improper cleaning of the anus and that is why WATER THERAPY is recommended for anus cleaning as using toilet papers do not get the feaces cleaned up properly. You also have sweat in between laps and in the cleavage of the buttocks. You also have laps that rub together when a woman makes movement, SO ALL THESE SUM UP GENERATE THE EXTERNAL ODOUR FROM THE WOMAN WHEN YOU WANT TO DESCEND ON HER FOR AN ORAL SEX. This is the reason why as a woman, YOU MUST TAKE YOUR BIRTH AT LEAST TWO TIMES A DAY, but some people complain that they do not have enough water or that they are tired and by so, they only bath in the morning and the next will be till the next morning.If a woman takes good care of herself outside, there is that GREAT CHANCE that she will be very good internally too, though it does not add up all the time. This takes me to another dimension on this discussion, the role of hygiene in keeping affairs. Most married women loose their husbands to these young University Girls and they complain about that but they contributed on sacking themselves. What I found out is that WHILE THESE YOUNG GIRLS PUT IN A LOT OF EFFORT TO KEEP THEIR HYGIENE HIGH AND ENTICE THEIR MEN, the married ones do not spend that much time as most of them believe that they are now married and by so, why would they still be struggling but little did they know that they have to continue to strive to keep themselves SPARKLING to be in business. Otherwise how would you explain how a man I know who is in late 40’s can give a University Girl Friend an Oral sex but he does not do that to his wife, that shows you that something if fundamentally wrong somewhere. This will take me to another part of this discussion, I was telling my friend that it is just that prostitution is a sin but that it has one advantage and what is it – GIRLS WHO ARE INTO PROSTITUTION ARE ALWAYS IN THE BEST OF CONDITION WHEN YOU COME TO HYGIENE for a simple reason that if YOU ARE A DIRTY GIRL, NOBODY WILL PATRONISE YOU. The prostitutes from time to time make out time to go for a Medical test, enter a lab, make a vaginal swab and culture the solution for 48 hours to see if there is any growth, they constantly do this but I cannot even remember when my own wife have gone for such a test except not too long that I insisted that she ought to do one and she did it and she was free and she now have cultivated a habit of doing it from time to time. It is very, very important. We are talking about spreading of HPV through oral sex, IF THE MAN IS NOT CARRYING IT AND THE WOMAN IS NOT CARRYING IT, where will they both contact it. Will you give out what you do not have. I am not advocating for people to be PROSTITUTES here but I am saying that some times, the Prostitutes are even CLEANER as they will like to maintain their customers and by so, THEIR HYGIENE LEVEL IS VERY HIGH compared to people who are not competing for any thing.

    Still concurring with AHMED, GOOD PERSONAL HYGIENE is key to doing and enjoying an ORAL SEX.

  2. Ahmed says:

    Well oral sex to me, depends on the individual, if we want to go by tradition and culture, our ancestors do not know how to kiss, but now kissing is the main thing. Sex is for married couples, and there is nothing dirty about sex when it comes to married couples, my friend, asked his doctor in the UK if it was dirty to have oral sex and the doctor said there is not dirty about sex. As an Africa, one of the main reason i hate oral sex is because most most of our African ladies, do not know how to take care of them selves, as a result have this offensive odour, that is why most African men cant really go there, I wont condemn any one doing it, just because I dont do it, is a thing of the mind.

  3. Ikenna Okonkwo says:

    Question: “What does the Bible say about oral sex?”

    Answer:Oral sex, also known as “cunnilingus” when performed on females and “fellatio” when performed on males, is not mentioned in the Bible. There are two primary questions that are asked in regards to oral sex: (1) “is oral sex a sin if done before marriage?” and (2) “is oral sex a sin if done within a marriage?” While the Bible does not specifically address either question, there are definitely biblical principles that apply.

    Is oral sex a sin if done before or outside of marriage?
    This question is becoming increasingly common as young people are told that “oral sex is not really sex,” and as oral sex is promoted as a safer (no risk of pregnancy, less risk of sexually transmitted diseases*) alternative to sexual intercourse. What does the Bible say?Ephesians 5:3declares, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity…because these are improper for God’s holy people.” The biblical definition of “immorality” is “any form of sexual contact outside of marriage” (1 Corinthians 7:2). According toHebrews 13:4, only the “marriage bed” is pure and undefiled. According to the Bible, sex is to be reserved for marriage. Period. So, yes, oral sex is a sin if done before or outside of marriage.

    Is oral sex a sin if done within a marriage?
    Many, perhaps most, Christian married couples have had this question. What makes it difficult is the fact that the Bible nowhere says what is allowed or disallowed sexually between a husband and wife, other than, of course, any sexual activity that involves another person (swapping, threesomes, etc.) or that involves lusting after another person (pornography). Outside of these two restrictions, the principle of “mutual consent” would seem to apply (1 Corinthians 7:5). While this text specifically deals with abstaining from sex/frequency of sex, “mutual consent” is a good concept to apply universally in regards to sex within marriage. Whatever is done, it should be fully agreed on between the husband and his wife. Neither spouse should be forced or coerced into doing something he/she is not completely comfortable with. If oral sex is done within the confines of marriage and in the spirit of mutual consent, there is not a biblical case for declaring it to be a sin.

    In summary, oral sex before marriage is absolutely a sin. It is immoral. It is in no sense a biblically acceptable alternative to sexual intercourse for unmarried couples. Within the confines of marriage, oral sex is free from sin as long as there is mutual consent.

    *While oral sex is safer than sexual intercourse in regards to sexually transmitted diseases, it is definitely not safe. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, HIV/AIDS, and other STDs can be transmitted through oral sex.

    Read more:http://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-oral-sex.html#ixzz2Z1jCsUme

  4. Ikenna says:

    Chichi, that was a very good comment from you but how come you are just responding on July 11, almost a month or that is when you discovered the POST. I also had a similar experience with you as I started doing a cunnilingus on my wife just some few years back for a marriage of eight years. Initially I am a hygiene conscious person and when I remember how the place looks like during menses, it purges or irritates me but recently I saw also from the movies that it is not a difficult thing to do as long as the woman keeps her self very clean. I am sorry to say it here, going down on a woman, as erotic and unclean as it may look like, IS ONE OF THE SURE WAYS A WOMAN DEMONSTRATES HER CLEANLINESS TO HER HUBBY and it is good to cherish when you see that your wife smells good. I wouldn’t want to paint my self here as a womaniser but what I found out when I was a Bachelor is that women who are very clean inside out, will always invite you to have a taste of that place but those who are not too sure of themselves will never. Sometimes, it is not the ladies making as the cunt has a natural odour depending on the growth of the natural bacteria in the vagina, again, the fishy smell does not mean that the lady has a disease as so many people thinks, but it could be that the bacteria concentration is very strong. Let me also state here that from my experience, I do not know about others, my hardest erection of my penis does not come from kissing, it does not come from fingering, it does come from caressing, it does not come from smooching but it comes when I go down and lick her clitoris, my prick will almost BURST. It is very awesome. Talking about oral sex and the position of it in the church, our marriage instructor during our marriage course in Lagos told us in the class that a man should not mercy for his wife in the area of sex and vice versa too. She said that anything very erotic is permissible provided it is not harmful, that infact the both partners should design a characteristics in their sex life that will make the wife whenever she remembers it, she will be rushing home and same is applicable to the man. She said that when couple makes sex as an official thing, that it affects the marriage. She asked a very simple question – WHY DO YOU THINK THE MEN DIE FOR THE YOUNGER UNIVERSITY GIRLS, do they carry what your wife is not carrying and the answer is NO, but the difference is that when a husband misbehaves and keeps a date with these University babes, the stylish blow job the girl will give the man, the dog style posing they girl will give the man, the coming on top the girl will give the man, will turn the man’s head 360 degrees and when the wife at home cannot do that, you can see that the man’s heart will be more outside than the inside.

    Now that Chichi mentioned the ADULT FILM and its help, I think that Engr Paul will conduct another opinion polls on – HOW MANY COUPLE DO WATCH BLUE FILM TOGETHER WITH THEIR WIFE, that will be a good topic for another day. The Catholic Church that I attend condemned that as they say that it is IMMORALITY, that those acting such films are not complying with God’s Directive to keep your bodies holy and make it my temple, so when you pay money and buy blue film that you are supporting the growth and production of such IMMORAL DOCUMENTARY. But to me I feel that so many couple have bonded and saved their marriage from the skills they watch in a blue film because even though it is termed and IMMORAL PRODUCTION, but there is no other place one is taught how to MAKE LOVE TO ONE’S WIFE, so if two partners can watch it as the actors and actresses are professionals and one gets one or two styles from it to make the marriage a bit sweet, why not. I have found out from a experience that couple who have lasted very long in marriage are those who have a STRONG SEXUAL CHARACTER for each other, even when the quarrel to the level that some people will use it divorce, you see them retrace their steps again. SEX IS VERY STRONG IN MARRIAGE AND WHATEVER YOU CAN DO RIGHTLY AND HARMLESSLY TO IMPROVE IT SHOULD BE DONE. Take for example this popular Nolly Wood Actress called OMOTOLA JALADE EKEINDE, she has four or five kids and her husband is a PILOT, and their marriage is still very intact unlike the other Nolly Wood Actress, if you investigate why their marriage has not cracked, it will definitely has something to do with GOOD SEX. There is this our Senior Colleague in our office, you know that most Africans say that once they catch their wife in INFIDELITY that they will sack the woman, this our colleague went on a company assignment and his misbehaved for some few days with enough evidence and they are still living very well uptil today. When we ask the man why didn’t you sack your wife since you caught her with another man. DO YOU KNOW THAT THIS MAN DID NOT WASTE TIME BY TELLING US THAT – HIS WIFE IS VERY, VERY GOOD IN BED AND THAT IF HE DIVORCES HER, that she is not sure that she will get another woman as SEXY as her on bed. SO YOU SEE HOW SEX SAVED THAT SITUATION THAT MOST GUYS COULD HAVE BOOTED THE WOMAN AWAY. SEX IS A LUBRICANT THAT LUBRICATES THE ENGINE CALLED MARRIAGE moreso when you make it very memorable LIKE A 69 POSITION – While the man licks the woman clitoris, the woman sucks the man’s dick all simultaneously, BOTH THE MAN AND THE WOMAN BRAIN WILL EXPLODE IN SUCH ACT WHEN DONE VERY WELL. Summarising doing an ORAL SEX ON A MAN OR A WOMAN more especially on women, requires that the woman must CLEAN UP VERY, VERY WELL before the show and not when a lady who is working in an office and have urinated almost six times in a day and when you take her in for a short time, you go to lick her privacy, YOU WILL CONTACT HPV SQUARED. These things are done when all parties must have showered very, very well and dry clean up.

    Thanks to Engr Paul for bringing this DIRTY BUT OVERUSEFUL TOPIC up and thanks to Chi Chi for opening up, it is quite unlike ladies as most ladies always pretend or keep quiet.

    Thanks and kind regards,

    Ikenna

  5. chichi says:

    hi.l love ds post somuch!to me l see nothin wrong wt oral sex! l hv bn married for Twelve yrs nd it was only last yr l started experiencin what is called orgasm. l never liked sex cos it always leaves me wt sore nd injuries cos l was neva wet. my hubby started cheatin on me cos l was always shying away from sex! oral sex healed my marriage cos oneday l perfomed it on my hubby after watchin a porn movie! my hubby went crazy nd did it on me,to my surprise l was wet nd was moanin nd screaming! Their nd den my husband confessed to me how he had bn cheatin on me cos of my frequent complaints eachtym he wants to mk love. To me,”oral sex discovered me nd opened way for my marrital bliss nd sexual satisfaction”!Tanx. chichi.

  6. Ikenna Okonkwo says:

    This topic is still a very interesting one but I TRUST THAT PEOPLE WILL NOT BE UPCOMING on it because of our HOLIER THAN THOU ATTITUDE but I wished that all that are FOR AND AGAINST COME UP WITH THEIR POINTS. Some have talked about CULTURE AND RELIGION and I have asked them to enlighten me the more on it. I want to learn. I am a staunch Christian and I have so much respect for African Culture but I am yet to get the points on ORAL SEX being against religion and Culture. While I wait for the points against it, let me still give some additional points for it as follows:

    (1) Ladies body Chemistry varies a lot. For some ladies to get EXTREME WETNESS TO ENJOY SEX, they may not only need for fingering but will also need tongue caressing the CLITORIS for good wetness. I hope people will not also say that FINGERING A WOMAN is a sin, i.e inserting your finger into a woman vagina is a sin, so if it is not what is the difference between using your hands to caress a woman or finger her and using your tongue to caress the CLITORIS. Again, I hammer on know the METHODOLOGY OF ORAL SEX. You will give yourself a HPV when you go down on her and use your tongue to dig inside her vagina and start to lick the vaginal fluid, but if you concentrate on the CLITORIS for a woman who had her bath very well, I do not see you contacting HPV and you still get the woman real wet. I do it and I know what I am taking about. For the man who said that he is a Chief in his village and by so will not do it but he enjoys the blow job the white woman givers, I SEE THAT AS A CHEATING, he is cheating the white woman under the pretext of CULTURE. So culture permits the woman to suck your prick but your own culture forbids you from licking her clitoris. It think that the ONLY PREDICAMENT OR SHORTCOMINGS OF IT IS FROM THE HYGIENE SIDE, as it does not look hygienically ok, but if the lady is naturally blessed by being clean, IT IS GOOD. Again it does not go with every round of SEX. Sometimes you may just have the time for PLUG AND PLAY and by so, no time for that but if you have the time to ENJOY AND EXPLORE, it is plausible. SEX NEED TO BE ENJOYED FOR THOSE WHO ARE QUALIFIED TO HAVE IT BY BIBLICAL PROVISION AND THE HOTTER THE BETTER AS IT INCREASES THE BOND IN MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP.

    (2) I also see ORAL SEX ON A WOMAN as a measure of WOMAN CLEANLINESS. Though this is not a given or compulsory but it is a fact. Just as some women will like to wear a white pant always to show their lover how clean they are, no odor, no stain SO ALSO IS A ORAL SEX ON A WOMAN. When I was a Bachelor, I had a girl who always tell me that SHE WILL LIKE ME TO SMELL HER AND TELL HER HOW SWEET SHE IS, and how do you achieve this, your nose has to be closer to her vagina as you do a cunnilingus. This request made by this girl may appear very IRRESPONSIBLE but it is needful for ladies who will like to know their vaginal odor status. The result from the man will help the woman to know her status as a WOMAN and if she needs to improve on it. AGAIN, THIS IS NOT MANDATORY BUT IT IS MODERN and useful for a lady that HYGIENE is her watchword. How would you achieve this without ORAL SEX.

    (3) I earlier on talked about AFRICANS HOLIER THAN THOU ATTITUDE and what it causes us in Marriage and Affairs. Because of Religion and Culture, we abstain from ORAL SEX and this same man goes out to meet these young Clean University Babes and they suck the man dick and also suck his anus, before you know it, THIS MAN START TO THINK LESS OF HIS WIFE AND MORE OF THE UNIVERSITY GIRLS and after, the wife will call them HUSBAND SNATCHERS, THAT THEY HAVE GONE TO BABALAWO GET THE JUJU. Meanwhile, there is no juju, it is just a simple skill used by the LADIES on her husband that turned his head. Meanwhile, the woman will be placing everything on CULTURE OR RELIGION by saying, it is not our CULTURE, IT IS NOT OUR RELIGION

    In Conclusion, we need to make SEX LIVELIER TO SAVE OUR MARRIAGES AND UNION. WHATEVER YOUR HUSBANDS OR YOUR WIFE ENJOYS PROVIDED IT IS NOT HARMFUL, WOULD HELP OUT. Again, you need the woman consent in all of these, IT IS NOT SOMETHING TO FORCE ON HER.

    Thanks and kind regards,

    Ikenna.

  7. Desmond says:

    I must admit that your article on saharareporters is an overdue topic considering the recent attitidu of our youths to oral sex.
    As a youth of 22 years,i must admit that i havent practiced oral sex before or any other sex but the very thought of engaging in oral sex gives me hope to reason that i will enjoy it,its one of my sexualfantacies..
    If my partner desires it,i will surely give it to her and i may even convince her if she is against it.

  8. Ik says:

    Engr. Paul, that’s a very good piece and also good that you are asking for people OPINION on it. I do cunninglingus and I started it less than one year now on a marriage of 8 years. Initially I did not know that I can do it as when I remember how that place (woman vagina) is during a woman menstrual period I tend to vomit, but like I said not too long, I found my self doing it now but not with every round or time of sex. I would like to hear more versions on this discussion as regards CULTURE AND RELIGION point of view, as most people are of the opinion that it is NOT MORALLY, RELIGIOUSLY AND CULTURALLY RIGHT. I am not saying that my submission is THE RIGHT ONE but I am just being very practical about it. Sex should be ENJOYED and I don’t think that there is a limitation to it except for things that are OBVIOUS such as ANAL SEX which is dangerous and not what God designed for it as the place is meant for defecating and not for intercourse. There is this saying in sex that THE ROUGHER THE BETTER FOR ABSOLUTE ENJOYMENT. I agree with one of the respondent who talked about personal HYGIENE, and knowing whom you performs it with, IT SHOULDN’T BE WITH ANYHOW PERSON, it should be with ones wife or girl friend or fiancee, not just any go-go girl. I am also surprise to read about this HP Virus causing CANCER, has it been proved. Now let’s go practical again, how do one stimulate a woman to be wet and how do a woman stimulate a man to have a strong erection. Easily the man uses his hands to rub the clitoris, so why can’t the tongue be used for same if they woman welcomes it. I submit that it has to be done according to the womans wish, my wife likes it and she gets me invited and both of us are here in Nigeria, NO DIASPORA involved. She makes sure that she has a very clean BATH and clean shave and it is good to go. Sometimes I think that it is not proper to use the same tongue to do a cunninglingus and use the same tongue to receive a holy communion as a Catholic but if I remember what we were told in the marriage course that marriage should be enjoyed and SEX is very PIVOTAL to it and that we should make our SEX LIFE very active, the activeness of sex has to do with various explorations of man and woman bodies provided it is not a harmful one such as ANAL SEX. I personally get my strongest erection when I do a 69 position very effectively with MY ONLY ONE, not just anybody than any other stimulation method and it is natural. Would I now abandon it due to cultural or religious thoughts about it and resort to using DRUGS to get erection, which is which. Another topic that is close to this ORAL SEX is somebody telling us that some types of SEX POSITIONS are not morally, religiously and cultural right such as a man coming into a woman from back (i.e behaving like a DOG as an animal) or woman staying on top of a man instead of being loyal and being under a man. Also something important to note here is how the oral sex is done, most times many of us do not get it right, we just put in our tongue into the vagina licking the fluid coming out, I think that is not proper, you need to limit your tongue caressing on the clitoris. This is very, very important. If you are not a carrier of HPV and your wife is not, where is the risk of HPV, I think that there is also need for test just as we test for Gonorrhea, the Syphilis and HIV, we can also test for HPV and once you and your partner is free, you go on. Why I say that extreme erotic stimulation is needed between couple is that couple who explore themselves very well tends to make their MARRIAGE GET BONDED VERY WELL and by so they think less of DIVORCE. Which one would you prefer, to have a less active sex and by so think less of each other or to get more bond by indulging in a close to wild sex life. To me African males are very unfair to their ladies, most of them gets a very high sensation from blow jobs that their wives gives them but they see cunnilingus as a TABOO, so why don’t the ladies also see it as a TABOO too. Somebody said that CULTURALLY AND RELIGIOUSLY that it is wrong, please explain it properly, was it condemned in the Bible and how does it bring BAD LUCK Culturally, I would like to know. For those who said that our forefathers did not do it meaning that it is not good, how many things have changed the ways our forefathers did them, UNCOUNTABLE and it is not for bad. An example is on women wearing TROUSER today, do they do that in the past but today some women are best fitted in trousers and it does not make them loose or way ward.

    In summary, to me I do not see anything wrong in oral sex provided it is done in the right way (caress the clitoris ONLY for men or the penis hood with your tongue for women) with the right person (your wife or fiancee and it pleases him or her) at the right time (not when the woman is menstruating or have not taken her bath or when a man have bruises and cuts and wounds on his penis). SEX IS A STRONG TOOL THAT GOD CREATED FOR MARRIAGE AND I DON’T THINK THAT HE LIMITED THE WAY IT SHOULD BE DONE EXCEPT FOR DEADLY WAYS we should know by our common sense such as ANAL SEX, GAY, HOMOSEXUALS AND LESBIANISM.

    I need to read more views as I do not hold the monopoly of knowledge. I AM READY TO LEARN AND BOW TO SUPERIOR ARGUMENT.

  9. AAO says:

    Thanks a million for your write up on the above subject. I will duel a little bit of it and our culture as an African. Most of the dreaded diseases or infections we have today was as a result of our ways of life in copying western world, they are alien to us, also inferiority complex to our culture and values. An average African wants to speak and acts like a westerner.

    Starting from the way we dress, and the kind of food we eat, majority of us wants to be seeing that we belong. Now the issue of Oral sex, is dirty, is on heard of, however, I as a person, am not exempted from the quilt. I was a victim, I contact serious sore throat from Oral sex, I thought it was in-thing. Three days after I performed it on a long time, so to say my dream girl, I became very sick and unable to eat or swallow my saliva. I did not tell my Doctor my escapade, I was treated using high strong Anti-Biotic. I went through Hell, I knew in my mind, that I got it from the act (Oral Sex).However, I vowed in my mind never to try it again, that was not my first time anyway.

    Our health practioners should try and put up campaign on the side effect of ORAL SEX. Recently Cancer has become a very deadly weapon, ravaging our society, if the issue of Oral Sex can be curtailed; Cancer sources will be reduced by one.

  10. usman says:

    In the Qur’an and Bible, Man and Woman are met for each other for their unequal values in terms of body structures. These structures like their private parts designed to satisfy each other by putting one into the other. Going extra mile to perform oral sex is like going into dirty game that require civility. After all, the big difference between human being and animal is the senses. What animal does with its mouth without using senses should not be done by human being with senses. Consider the place of the female private part and tell me the dignity behind you stooping down to that level to perform oral sex like animal licking waste product on the floor. It is not good for both parties. Do we know the purity level of the sperm that is coming out? It does not make common sense.

    Traditionally, Africans are deep in cultural heritage and wisdom that cannot be commonly found in any other part of the world. There are some certain things we consider them morally and culturally wrong and we will try all means to avoid them. One of them is this case in question. Where have you heard it done in the olden days in Africa if not in recent times when the young generation is going deep in western culture and abandoning our rich cultural heritage. Civility requires that we should not go out of bound especially when our senses require judgement.
    Thank you and have a nice time.

  11. Uche says:

    Hi, most times l had sex, l initiated oral sex which l gave out sweetly and got too. No girl has ever dumped me cos they enjoyed it. Some girls l had sex with openly confided in me that they have never had an orgasm until they had sex with me and l had oral sex with them. Some of them also screamed and moaned and begged to be given a little space to gather more strength becaused l sucked them till they climaxed severally. I will do it any day , anywhere.

  12. Benson says:

    You what? I once dated a girl when I was in high school, she’s always interested in performing oral sex on me but the real truth is that the experience was great but I started having problem with the girl because she wanted me to do same on her. The relationship broke apart when I told her that I can’t do what she want because I can’t fix a condom in my mouth. She accused me of being selfish. To me, I would prefer to have the experience again and again but I can’t bring my self together to perform oral sex on any lady because it’s so disgusting to me as a nigerian man.

  13. Adrian says:

    Yes most African men shy away from it or disclosing their indulgence in it. Sadly they want it from their partners.

    I am an African man. Raised here in Nigeria. But I do it. Whatever will give my partner and I pleasure, I will do.

    And it is usually a surprise gift I give them because most haven’t got it before from anyone. And it becomes my ‘comebackquine’. Cos they shall come back for more. As such I don’t have to beg for them to perform on me also.

    This is reserved for ladies I have a long-term relationship with though.

    Have a nice day

  14. precious says:

    I found your article quite interesting though your (hypo)thesis might not be fully right, as the inappetence for fellation or cunniligus is not limited to Africans. I never read your write up word for word- glanced through and hope I had understood the focal point of it.

    I live in Zurich and have a white girlfriend and we have been together for about 4 years now. My girlfriend finds it disgusting and I know a couple of colleagues who do. But I find it pricking!

    My opinion is that, it is an individual thing. Some like giving and others like receiving or both as it may be. But there are perhaps basically cultural and religious elements as to sexual reservation- but according them the main reason for the inappetence would be wrong. Religiously youth or singles shouldn’t be having sex, but they do against their religion. Morally lying, corruption etc is considered wrong even in traditional African context, but they are perpetuated on a daily basis without much regard to either religion or culture.

  15. Odih says:

    I feel it is greatly repugnant to think about oral sex among human beings. Some reasons are attributed to this
    1. I feel, however clean a human being may appear outside, some of the hidden parts of our body will emit dirt, odour, and oil that may be harmful to our health. Going down to give a woman an oral sex simply means licking up all the acrid smell, dirt and sweat of the woman involved.

    2. A lady once confessed that the semen from men tastes salty. Apart from licking up all the dirt off the man, the lady tasted the semen which in some cases contains acid that may not be good for human health. Ladies’ confessions after raw, unprotected sex that they have pepperish private part is a testimony of the acidic nature of the human semen.

    3. The world is ruled by the dreaded HIV/AIdS. There is though no medical report affirming that anyone involved in oral sex will contract HIV/AIDS, the possibility of contracting HIV/AIDS through oral sex much as one would contract through unprotected sex is one and the same. During oral sex, the ejaculation of vaginal fluid and semen is inevitable. The fluid and the semen are the vehicles through which HIV/AIDS is transported to the other partner.

    4. Cultural beliefs and norms also have negative effects on the man involved in oral sex. For the most part, such a man may lose the potency or efficacy of a virile man. He may be reduced to human lesser than a man. Such men mostly lack the ability to handle homes competently and manly. They die quicker than their times, for their gods and godesses frown at any circumstance that may make a man to eat from the woman’s private part. Most women that wash off their private parts and use the water to cook for their husbands in order to be liked by their husbands always have their lives cut short by the gods. Any man involved in this is also treated as such.

    In order to have a sane and a healthy world, the craze for oral sex should be corrected, chained or outrightly obliterated.

  16. Gideon says:

    I read ur article about oral sex n it problem or believe. For me, I do believe in oral sex and I can have it with my partner if she demands for it and vise versa. Despite the danger as being discovered and testify bt Dauglass in ur article and other scientist, that won’t stop me from performing oral sex with my partner. Only my partner. The article is encouraging. Thank you Sir.

  17. Ahmad says:

    Ofcourse if she love me why not after all it is HPV which i consider a minor disease. But i never try it shahhh.

  18. Owoichofie says:

    The mouth is meant for you to drink and eat, why using it otherwise? Is it that the genitals are getting outdated in sex that the mouth now comes in? Why must it be the mouth why not with the fingers? Na wa for us o! That is terrible and undeserving of noble men. Supposing you fetch infections with the month? Kai!

  19. Aziza says:

    Mr Paul yes I do it with my lady occassional to express the highest feelings I have for her. She is finding it difficult and irritating but I tried to let her understand why I did ‘sucked’ her. Maybe she was shy or pretending coz Fulani and Hausa people are very good at that. So she saw me as too westernized Yoruba man. Lol

  20. KB says:

    Most women are not comfortable with you going down on them. But I love to go down on them especially IF the person in question is clean. With these revelation i will never attempt to do it ever. Thanks for these lovely piece

  21. olaleye says:

    Dear Sir,

    I really want to appreciate your writings on the above subject matter that i came across online today.I found it to be very educative and expository, however,i do not understand why the focus is so much on Africans in diaspora when the issue itself is fast becoming the order of the day among young Africans of today no thanks to the rapid erosion of our traditional Values.

    To start with, i am a young man in my late twenties and i encountered this topic for the first time in my life while i was in the orientation camp for the mandatory NYSC.We were 6 boys from different institutions as room mates in the camp,and one of those casual boys “jists” propped up this same topic. I was shocked to see that 3 of us were supportive of the act while i belong to the other 3 that was against it. To my chagrin,we were labelled “old schooled”,and some funny unprintable names.Sir, you need to see the passion and energy with which they were defending their ignoble position,one of them even claimed that a so called medical journal recommends the act on the account that the seminal discharge from the female genital during such act is an anti-body good for the immune system and a whole lot of jargons.

    Meanwhile,i’m happy to state that your write up has further re asserted my position and i promise to direct those “wild” friend of mine to read it perhaps it might make them change their strange views.In general, i think without going to the diaspora,our immediate environment is far perverted than we imagine as i believe that a study into the topic will reveal a shocking result if inference can be made from our NYSC room population of 6.

    More grease to your elbow,thanks.

  22. kingsley Alozie says:

    i thank God 4 dis revelation.i wonder why man will abandon d original nd natural process 4 an ignorant test just 4 d sake of pleasure.To me it makes man act animalisticaly nd looses moral status.

  23. Comrade Roland Omorodion says:

    Since I was born till date my parents never told me that when one should cook soup he or she should bath with it,So oral sex is ment for weak men whom dick is not functioning good.

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